Loyal+Reliable+Courteous

loy·al - adjective
1 : unswerving in allegiance: as a: faithful to a private person to whom fidelity is due

re·li·able - adjective
1 : suitable or fit to be relied on : dependable

cour·te·ous - adjective
1 : marked by respect for and consideration of others


I wish I could say that petty things and individuals didn't bother me, but unfortunately I'm still a work in progress which is the very point of this journal's existence. Sunday was Mother's Day and I had a hard time deciding on what to do/get for my mother. I decided to take her to brunch because food's always a winner with everyone. I chose a Caribbean restaurant in Coney Island and my stepfather and I treated her along with my younger sister. After brunch we walked around the amusement park and made it to the edge of the boardwalk before deciding to head to my aunt's house where dinner was being hosted for the extended family. We were smiling and in a joyous mood but the evening suddenly took on a sour taste. I don't like pointing fingers or placing blame because there are other ways to resolve situations especially because tempers flare and personal animosities tend to rear its ugly head resulting in the original problem becoming totally irrelevant and minuscule in comparison. My mother's Mother's Day was ruined because she was blamed over a misunderstanding. A simple accusation caused family members to grumble low blows in corners, throw daggers with their eyes and plain scream at the top of their lungs either at/for and about her. She calmly left the scene got into our car and looked at us with hurt in her eyes, "I pick and choose my battles."

I hate when my mother gets hurt. Whether I'm the cause or someone else. I grew up seeing my mother constantly shitted on by my father, sometimes me when my mood swings settles in and by various family members. We all have the same idea that she doesn't usually defend herself, so the slick comments whether it be to her face or behind her back never gets taken to task. Its as though she's this brick wall and she doesn't hit back. She's no angel but she endures. So when I heard her say she's fine with taking the blame, I become infuriated. And I don't think I've been more hurt by how my family reacted to a situation that could've simply been diffused by communication instead of assumptions based on appearances. Its safe to say that I love my family dearly, but the family + friends factor these days are making me think twice about the way I view people of lately.